


Rabbit.

by areeskimosreal



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 23:29:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18376295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areeskimosreal/pseuds/areeskimosreal
Summary: Sometimes John can be a little slow on the uptake.





	Rabbit.

**Author's Note:**

> A little funfic .

“ Okay okay Mandy not a dicky bird, bye love “ she hung up the phone and smiled at John.

“ Steve and Mandy have had a bit of a barney,  but you don't know okay ?”

“ If you hadn't told me I wouldn't know would I “

“ But you do know John “

“ Aye I do but……..”

“ Well just pretend you don't okay ?

John just shook his head wondering if he would ever work out what Kayleigh's brain accepted as logical.

“ This argument they never had, will I not mention it now, or not mention it at dinner ?”

“ Just don't mention it “

“ Okay “

“ Mandy bought a rabbit !” Kayleigh exclaimed, raising her eyebrows for effect.

“ And ?”

“ What do you mean and ?”

“ What do you bleedin think I mean by and, and ?”

“ Well Steve's not happy”

“ Doesn't he like rabbits ?”

“ John don't be dense, it doesn't matter if he likes it or not, he thinks Mandy buying one without telling him is disgraceful “

“ Bit old fashioned of him int it ?”

“ So you wouldn't mind if I bought one ?”

“ No “

“ Seriously, you wouldn't mind ?”

“ Of course not, do you want one ?”

“ Eurgh no thank you, never saw what people see in them, not for me, I've got you “ she said squeezing John's cheeks. “you're my little bunny wunny , you're more than enough “

“ You could get one if you want , but not a black one “

“ What ?” Kayleigh said not quite sure she heard correctly.

“ Don't like the look of the black ones, sort of freak me out, bloody ugly things”

“ Racist “ Kayleigh said jokingly.

“ I'm not racist, it's not like they're human or owt “

Kayleigh watched John walk out the room, sometimes she was sure he didn't think logically.

 

Since the wedding they found themselves somehow becoming the lynchpin of the families. Everyone seemed to come to them for dinner, drinks or just to socialise, Kayleigh loved being the hostess and John, if pushed would admit he enjoyed it too.

Tonight Mandy and Steve were coming over, Kayleigh was serving her signature chilli, all four had work tomorrow, and as she was the only one with a driver only Kayleigh would be drinking.

Dinner although not strained, was not as vocal as usual, Mandy and Steve weren't talking to each other as much as normal.

“ Did she tell you what she did ?” Steve said looking at Kayleigh.

“ Did what ?” Kayleigh said attempting to feign innocence.

“ Bloody knew it “ Steve said putting down his cutlery.

“ What you on about……?” Kayleigh continued.

“ Stop it Kaylz, I know you know, I can see it in your face “

“ Okay Steve I told her okay ? “ Mandy interjected.

“ I take it you know too then buddy ?”

“ Aye “ John replied.

“ John ! “ Kayleigh exclaimed folding her arms and glaring at him.

“ Oh come on Kayleigh, Steve knows if you know then I'd know, give him credit eh ?”

“ So what's your opinion on “ her purchase “ ?, Steve air quoted.

“ John said I could buy one if I want, he's not bothered “ Kayleigh butted in. “ as long as it's not a black one “

“ Seriously?” Steve looked wide eyed at John.

“ To be honest pal I don't see it as a problem” John said almost apologetically.

“ See” Mandy said “ overreacting”

“ Must say John, I misjudged how open minded you are, I still see it as a bit of an insult “

“ We all have lines in the sand Steve, I guess that's yours eh ?”

“ Aye I suppose so, but I still think it's a bit of a slur on my masculinity “

“ And don't forget the kids will love it, have they seen it yet ?” John asked.

John took a mouthful of chilli, suddenly he realised that the conversation had died. Kayleigh was staring at him, fork halfway between bowl and mouth, eyes as wide as saucers. Steve had a puzzled look on his face, Mandy had a grin on her face, her chin was quivering as she stifled a laugh.

“ I mean their bound to have seen the hutch by now, right ?”

His three dinner companions still didn't say anything. John looked around.

“ The one I had was called Thumper “ he innocently added, “ it was a big brown one “

That did it .

“ Jesus John “ Steve said exploding into a fit of laughter. Mandy went into a giggling fit the likes of which John hadn't seen before. A giggling Kayleigh took his hand and led him from the table to the lounge.

She sat him on the settee, and still giggling picked up his phone, and scrolled through some pages, as her giggles subdued she heard Steve's bellowing laugh from the other room, this started her off again. She handed John his phone and pointed to the screen,

“ Shit “ John said and sat grinning , Kayleigh kissed his forehead and went into the dining room, soon three people were in hysterics at John's expense.

As the laughing died down, John sheepishly took his seat at the table. His teary eyed flushed faced companions just nodded.

“ Everyday's a school day, as they say “ he said blushing.

“ Sure is pal “ Steve said patting John's hand.

“ Mandy ?”

“ Aye John ?”

“ Dirty bitch “ John chuckled.

All four of them laughed this time.

 

“ Alright, alright, I lived a sheltered life, okay no need to go on about it “ John was lying in bed, Kayleigh was in the ensuite brushing her teeth still giggling.

“ Makes a change me educating you doesn't it ?“

“ Aye I suppose it does” he smiled to himself.

Kayleigh switched off the light, John spooned in behind her.

“ John ?”

“ What , love ?”

“ Can I buy a ……:?”

“ No “

“ Okay “  She lay quietly for all of two minutes.

“ John ?”

“ What ?”

“ What's up doc ?” she sniggered.

“ Ha bloody ha “

“ Night night “

“ Night night “

Just as John was drifting off, Kayleigh's giggling woke him. This was going to take some living down.

“ Mine was called Thumper” she said and giggled again, “ a big brown one “

“ Alright let it go “John chuckled.

He didn't hear her after that but he felt her giggle for a while, it was going to be a long day tomorrow.


End file.
